Another day indoors; I can’t take it! Zoning out on Netflix and sleeping in until noon is our weekend dream. Finally, I have quiet! When Monday comes through, and you have to slug yourself to the office, we start planning The Friday Night Event, stuck in the couch, featuring me, myself and I. When that becomes the daily routine, you might even wish you were back at work. You can only stare at walls for so long until you say,
“Wait, what day is it?”.
We are in an interesting time where staying inside protects our health. But, what can we do to keep from going crazy? After too many days annoying my roommates without any progress, I’ve had more than enough time to find ways to entertain myself. Enough quiet! Let me show you how not to go crazy…
We Are All Quarantined Chat Room-https://www.wireclub.com/chat/room/we_all_quarantined
Reach Your Goal of Becoming a Bodybuilder
Do you eat too many donuts? Me too! Now could be the time to jump away the twix! Here are some of the weirdest exercises: (These are real exercises). Do Burpees-Jumping (not burping). Do a Fartlek-Speed Training (not farting). Minimalist Exercises-This just means wearing toe shoes. Monkey Touch-Hold onto your toes while you thrust your butt into the air, it’s supposed to help your muscles somehow. Wonder Bread-Do alot of weights
Feng Shui Your Home or Just Move Stuff Around
Have you ever noticed that gross feeling you have sometimes when you walk into a room? It’s almost like you have to go take a shower. It could be ghosts, or it could be your Feng Shui. Now is the time to find that inner peace you’ve been searching for as you wring out the last hairs on your head. Feng Shui can be a positive use of that energy to refocus it to balance your home. Before you start moving around furniture and pissing off your partner, check for ghosts first.
Write a Long-Winded Love Letter to Your True Love
Just because this time is uncertain does not mean you have to make it that way. Hopefully that uncertainty will turn into a certain romantic rekindling? Writing can be hard, especially if you are sending it to your Russian mail-order wife. Stop trying. During the day I wish my thoughts would stop. When I close my eyes to meditate, it’s like they will never stop! Seriously, the more lazy you are about-eh, if it happens it happens-if it doesn’t at least I made it through the apocalypse. Don’t make it such a big deal and maybe it won’t be. Watch out for that bride, her picture may be beautiful, but she just might arrive a haggard witch with your credit card stacked up.
Fold your clothes-FINALLY
If you have to play hide and seek to find your shoe, then it might be time to fold your clothes.
Day after day, I’ve found many reasons not to fold my clothes. Play with the cat. Have a snack. Watch TV. Call my grandma. Do anything else other than FOLD MY CLOTHES. But, now we have no excuse? The point is…FOLD YOUR CLOTHES ALREADY
Meditate In The Unusually-Awkward Silence
Meditation doesn’t have to be trusting the silence until you realize you’ve snored through it. But, I do need to relax. Let the silence be awkward! This is a time to get used to the unpredictable. Ever seen those videos of laughter yoga? If you haven’t it’s just a bunch of people in a room staring and laughing at each other. People say it’s supposed to be like a type of active meditating. Well, I call that BS. The only way anyone would do that is if they were drugged. A better idea, just stay in your house and away from the yoga crack addicts. Try baby goat meditating! If you don’t have a goat, imagine it; that’s what meditation is for right?
Take a Long Bath-And Try Not To Burn Yourself On Candles
If you are a burly construction man reading this article (first, props for reading this article), and second a bath is exactly what you need. Wash away all of those scales and plan what you will do when we get out of this pandemic. Go see your family? Go break up with your girlfriend? She cheated on you online? They always find a way… Wa, wa, wa…Go back to work and pay your bills? Take a walk on the beach? Have the biggest party ever? Let the bubbles take you away.
Teach Your Cat to Pee on the Toilet
All i’ve got to say about this one is…Why not? It is okay to check off that panic box 100 times off your list. I’m not selfish for missing my family, friends and the outside world. In order to take my mind off of this apocalypse, I’ve found comedy is the best thing. Instead of letting depression take you, why not just teach your cat to pee on the toilet? It might save you the stink of cleaning the litter box. And it is family friendly entertainment for the whole family!
This has been…Another day indoors…
A young published writer with a lot to say about real life. I’m quite interesting once you start listening (reading). Writing experience-8 years and counting. Graduated from The Evergreen State College with a Bachelors of Liberal Arts.